Friday, September 5, 2008

Dangerous Traitor, AD: Why So Cagey?

This week I went to the movies, here's how it went.

First, I saw Vin Diesel in BABYLON AD. A post-apocalyptic future world where Vin smuggles and kills and sneaks into America with his wonder-child cargo. He says things like "There is no mercy for the weak", and "Theres two things you need to survive in this world. Your balls, and your word. Luckily, I still have both". The best parts of this movie were the virgin birth and the bionic hand he gets.

Next, I saw Traitor. Who doesn't love a thriller about suicide-bombers going Jihad on us? One of the FBI agents said, "Sorry - I must have forgotten my Bill of Rights at home!".

Finally, I saw Bangkok, Dangerous, which Rob insisted was the worst movie we've seen all summer. Some parts were pretty funny, like when Nicky Cage shoots these guys behind his girlfriend's back, but she doesn't realize it at first, because she's A DEAF THAI PHARMACIST. Then the blood splatters all over her back and she fd's him. Best part of this movie was that Jay, Conrad, and Rob all wore Bangkok Dangerous t-shirts to it, and that there were only two people in the theatre that we didn't know.

The worst part about going to the the movies at all lately is that Kid Rock/racecar/National Guard fake preview/propaganda/music video. It makes me want to throw up.

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