dear

Correspondence between Melissa and Michael Ian Black, regarding Amanda (really).  Truth.

Dear Michael,I wanted to ask for some help for a friend of mine. She is attending a speed-dating event at the public library. What should I do? Just kidding. She is supposed to bring her favorite or least favorite book to this event in order to make a first impression on her speed-dating partners. What book should she bring?

I understand that this is a set-up for me to promote my terrific new memoir, You’re Not Doing It Right, and that would certainly be a good choice, but I am too humble to do such a thing. Instead, I would suggest she pick something that she has actually read in the last six months that isn’t US Weekly. If the last thing she read is The Hunger Games, she should bring that. If it was Wuthering Heights, she should bring that. But if she’s worried about being judged for what she reads, then she’s an idiot. Basically what I’m saying is, your friend is an idiot.